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• jeopardize our health; • jeopardize our emotional well being leading to fits of frustration, anger, anxiety panic attack... • set us up for failure mechanisms; • have us constantly trying to impress others; • lead to an identity crisis; • cause chronic depression; • contribute to suicide... But why is it that when there are so many programs available for building self worth and confidence that is there a tremendous shortage of those who have self worth? The answer is that if you analyze most programs, trainings, and techniques for building self worth, you'll see that they actually create the path to easily put your self worth self confidence in jeopardy with the first calamity that comes along in your life. Five things you might want to know about building self worth. 1. Many programs focus on having you to: – Acquire skills. – Accomplish achievements. – Improve your physical appearance. – Develop a talent. – Obtain additional education and degrees or certifications. Truth is that building self worth on something you can acquire can set you up for a big let down, life crisis, anxiety panic attack, and loss of self worth because these things are not the essence of you but superficial. While you certainly will accomplish many things, when you build self worth the right way, you will never be at risk of losing your self worth. While talents, skills, accomplishments, relationships, and so on may come and go, you want your self worth to be impenetrable. 2. Many programs emphasize affirmations. While affirmations are important, they can also be rejected or ineffective. One method of determining acceptance of a specific affirmation is through the use of a pendulum. It's simply to ask your subconscious mind if the affirmation is accepted or rejected while holding the pendulum over a chart with directions for "Yes" and "No." Sometimes it's simply a matter of rephrasing the affirmation. Then how an affirmation is worded is also important. Never use a negative such as "not" in the affirmation. An affirmation such as "I am becoming prosperous," is to own less than prosperity. Instead use, "I own prosperity." Make it present tense and feel the end result. 3. Evaluate goal setting. Yes, many programs use the approach of setting and achieving goals to build self worth. While it's ok to have and achieve goals, goals in themselves can be a catch 22 in building self worth. Should you fall short of a particular goal, your self worth is in jeopardy. While you may have and achieve many goals, your self worth should not be dependent on them for life is more often about dealing with the plans that fall through than it is about making plans. Click for a self worth story. 4. Many programs only educate the thinking conscious mind. This approach could take forever. The limbic (emotional brain) lags behind the reticular (thinking cognitive brain). When you choose a program, make sure that the program nurtures the emotional brain otherwise, the thinking brain gets smarter and you get simply frustrated because you just can't seem to put the material into action. The Program you use should have techniques to bring the emotional brain up to date to agree with the new information the thinking brain is receiving. 5. Few programs utilize the power of hypnosis and subliminal suggestions and those that do, may not tell you what the actual suggestions are and what's worse the suggestions may be counter productive. For instance, many use a suggestion such as, "I am not going to feel badly anymore." Because of how the brain processes words, this suggestion focuses on feeling badly and is therefore counter productive. Or they may use a complex suggestion which is useless because the subconscious doesn't process complex suggestions. Choose a program that utilizes hypnosis and make sure the program informs you of the specific subliminal suggestions. For improving self worth or building self worth, it's important to observe (not criticize) the sources of your role models' self worth.--parents, teachers, friends... It's important to also observe (not criticize) where your self worth has come from in the past, i.e. what makes you feel good about you and what you need to feel good about yourself. Thus you'll understand the psychology of self worth and the causes of low self worth. The next step in restoring self worth and beating low self worth is to meet your own best friend--you. It typical that we often think we are our own worst enemy. The fact is that you are your own best friend. Just as your best friend gives you advice, you are constantly giving yourself advice--some of it effective and some of it not so effective. For the not so effective, you probably put yourself down and may call yourself, "stupid," "dumb," a "dumb ass," and so on. This is actually making yourself your own worse enemy. Never demean yourself. Now, how do you handle emotions? I mean feelings of anger, uncertainty, confusion, frustration...? Self criticism in the past may have eroded your self worth and self confidence. You want to use negative emotional experiences to empower you in building self worth through your experience of any emotion that life can throw your way. Acknowledge your disappointments and your emotional reactions. Move through the emotional charge and use directional preference statements. Tell yourself that you want to: • learn from the mistake. • see the situation in from a different perspective. • forget about it. And that even though you may be unhappy, you still like yourself. This is your formula for improving self worth on a daily basis. ________________________________________________________________________________________ Resource Box: Richard Kuhns B.S.Ch.E. NGH certified, a prominent figure in the personal change field. His aim is to make it possible for anyone to improve and build self worth.
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