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Unfortunately, this is a "catch 22" approach--a set-up for failure. I'm not saying that everyone who uses this approach fails to accomplish the goal of acquiring a skill or educational level, but this approach does not build true self worth or self worth. It's a set up for failure. Building self worth becomes a myth with this approach. Look around. Most of your friends, family, and acquaintances have been building self worth based on their accomplishments and acquisitions. Unfortunately, the person who overcomes low self worth and builds it largely: • on his fortune, often commits suicide when his portfolio is lost in the stock market crash. • on the love of his wife may become depressed and acquires life-threatening cancer within 2 years of her passing and then dies himself even though he was in fine health prior to her passing. • on his position in life often becomes depressed and acquires a life threatening disease within 2 years of his retirement and dies. • on his social contacts and accomplishments may develop anxiety panic attack when he moves to another part of the country. • on his physical skills becomes has a greater chance of getting seriously depressed and likewise may acquire a life threatening disease when he has an incapacitating accident or is replaced by younger, stronger athlete. And we can go on and on. For each person building self worth based on an accomplishment, an ability, physical appearance, and so on, he/she feels good about himself/herself for as long as his/her skills, abilities, and accomplishments remain in tact. Yet when their skills, relationships, accomplishments and so on change, they lose themselves in the process. Is this self-worth? No, it's "things' worth," not "self-worth." In the face of all adversity and loss, the person who has truly been building self worth does not lose himself, but by knowing his true value, is able to adapt and change to all life circumstances. Back to John: It was indeed a challenge getting John out of his failure path. More so because the psychologist set him up with expectations that would lead to failure--the psychologist actually set the path for him to stay stuck with low self worth. Eventually John got up the hill and over the crest. He learned to overcome his low self worth, not by graduating machine shop school, but by learning to deal successfully with disappointments and to like himself regardless of his disappointments. Building self worth the right way is from self is something you do every day. It's to realize that: Comparing ourselves to anyone else is to kill self worth Some of our best laid plans will simply fall through through no fault of our own or through fault of our own--it doesn't matter. . We are emotional beings and rather than be ruled by our emotions we can acknowledge them and move through them. We each are a child of the universe deserving of feeling good about ourselves regardless of what we do or don't do. We only feel less about ourselves because of what we've learned to believe. Love of our physical, emotional, and spiritual self is deserved and until we can love ourselves, it's unlikely that another can love us. Egotistical people really don't love themselves. Out of every fallen plan or disappointment is an opportunity to somehow: • Benefit from it. • Move beyond it. • Learn from mistakes. • Truly forget about it. • Let it go. • Profit from the experience. And then, most importantly, self worth is something you build everyday by assuring yourself that when things: Work out as planned, you like yourself, and that you are a fine person; Fall through and you're disappointed, upset, angry that you embrace the emotion and likewise like yourself--that you are a fine person regardless of the outcome. Do this daily and feel your self worth grow. _________________________________________________________________________________________ Resource Box: Richard Kuhns B.S.Ch.E. NGH certified, a prominent figure in the personal change field. His aim is to make it possible for anyone to improve and build self worth. ________________________________________________________________________________________ Part I and Part II are the bible for building Self Worth Cd#1 $24.95 Part III and Part IV is the magic of keeping the self worth that you build everyday by becoming your own best friend and discovering means by which you can profit from disappointment. $24.95
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